34 days from now Mai and I will be boarding our plane with our lives in a few bags to our new destination which is my quê, ស្រុកកំណើត, hometown. A Whale's Vagina as some may call it. ;)
By the time we leave it will be nearly 10 years since the time I left. Looking at who I was back then and who I am now, quite a few changes occurred. I learned to step out of my comfort zone numerous times and became more social than before. But it's not static, it remains a challenge, naturally as an introvert I dread most times I hear we are going to meet a lot of new people, at least the last few years it's been like that. Which ironically, was one of the reasons why I came out here, to challenge myself to meet new people, try new things, and to build more courage and confidence in myself. In some ways I have exceeded in this and done much more than I ever thought possible. Speaking to audiences of more than 100 people, meeting 20-30 new people on a regular basis for 3-4 years during the Golden times of Dodgeball, and becoming a Leader at the NGO.
I feel I have regressed during the last two years. Maybe I got too comfortable. The spark and excitement of meeting new people seemed to have left me socially. For work that was ok, but socially, I stuck to what was most comfortable aside from Dodgeball, but that didn't really count anymore as I was more focused on organizing, playing, and making calls when needed rather than connecting with people. Perhaps that was also one of the reasons for Dodgeball to deteriorate as much as it did. Thankfully, recently with the news that we would be moving back, and with the support of a new friend who is looking for a community like Dodgeball, that spark returned. It's a good boost that will certainly need to continue as we transition to San Diego.
It's funny, when I first came to Phnom Penh in 2007 with my sister, Becky, and her boyfriend, Chris, we took a bus from Siem Reap. We arrived in the middle of the city and 20-30 tuk tuk drivers were screaming for our business, we were the only foreigners on that bus. Chris just pointed to one of them and said You! ....The crowd vanished and then we got on his tuk tuk and he took us to our hotel along the riverside. When we arrived, the tuk-tuk driver invited us to his home for dinner. Chris and I thought it sounded like a great idea, a good way to experience what life is really like in Phnom Penh. Becky, being out here longer than us at the time, yelled "No Way! That's how bad things happen! Are you crazy?" We stayed at our hotel that night.
Looking back on it, would I have dinner with that guy today?
Over the years I've shared a number of beers with tuk tuk drivers and never had any issues, I've been lucky that the large majority of locals I've met and hung out with have all had good intentions and never meant any harm.
One funny story was in Banteay Meanchey. I wanted to go out there to see the Banteay Chhmar Wat. It was an absolutely beautiful carving, the fan of hands was incredibly impressive. Unfortunately many of the blocks were knocked down from the war. But the best carving thankfully was still intact.
At night time I returned to my hotel, only 1 of 2 in the town back then. It was 5 story tall building, a giant for SereySisophon in 2009. I sat outside in the front of the hotel to observe the happenings of this small town. A driver for a battery company started talking to me, seemed just like a normal friendly Cambodian guy. We chatted for a bit then I decided it was time to go upstairs, shower, and change. As I walked up the stairs, I felt like someone was following me. I opened my door and as I am shutting it that guy I was just talking to invited himself into my room. Shocked and surprised, but I didn't think he was bad, just got the wrong message, I told him No No No. And he left my room.
After changing I went outside the hotel to go find a place to eat. The group of Tuk tuk and motorbike drivers were in the front of the building and all bargained for my business. They also asked for me to get some beer for us to drink. I figured it's a sleepy town, this is in front of my guesthouse, it should be safe. So I went with one of the drivers, got a case of beer and some bug snacks. We proceeded to drink out in front of the hotel, they told me about how much money they make a month, how few customers they get, truly felt bad for these guys and the lack of opportunities they had. Figured at least we can have a fun time together tonight and so that's what we did. Then one of the drivers said he wanted to show me around town, he drove me to the park and he wanted me to go talk to the Ktoeys (Ladyboys). It was a dare to see if I would actually do it. With my beer-infused confidence I decided to show them I'm not afraid. I went and spoke with the ladyboys, they were nice, and weren't mean or anything, didn't try to steal or rob from me like you hear other stories. Then one of them sat closer to me and that's when I decided it was time to leave. I walked back to the Tuk Tuk and he laughed and appreciated that I took up the challenge. We came back to the hotel, drank more beers, played cards, and called it a night.
Overall, I've actually met more shady foreigners here than I have locals, but that's also been in the main touristy areas. It's the same story as any city, don't go down dark roads late at night by yourself, don't hang out with shifty people and you'll be fine. Look forward to going back to San Diego, seeing old friends and making new ones. It's time to get out and about when we get there (barring covid restrictions of course).
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