Lately I've been thinking more about the family, friends, and things I will leave behind when I depart. Tonight I had dinner with my Dad, it was a guy's night. My step-mother is out of town and comes back Monday. It's interesting living here with them because although I am here, I only see them about 2 nights out of the week and usually about 5 mornings for about 10 minutes. This is due to my irregular work schedule and now I am attending classes which continues to minimize my time spent with them. Returning to tonight, my Dad told me a story about an old friend of his. I have to admit, when he first began telling the story, I became as excited as a toddler receiving the major gift he asked for Christmas. I felt like a small child all over again, waiting to hear a bed time story. Though now older, and not wanting bed time stories, it was invigorating to feel so excited to hear a story and to also be told one by my Dad. These moments are precious and few these days which I imagine as time goes on this will only continue to a greater degree.
This week I've been thinking about how my family members will feel when I leave. I know I will miss my family without a doubt and vice versa. I also wonder however, whether there will be contempt felt by a few. If they think I'm selfish as time goes on since this is an individualized endeavor. This plan does also include an eventual plan to assist others in not only language but in other means, so it is not, itself, an entirely selfish endeavor. Furthermore, the question of how I will handle being away from family for so long has gone under much more scrutiny than I planned. Before I thought, eh, I've been away for college and I've been out of the country before for two months. It shouldn't be a BIG deal, I can handle this. Then comes the thoughts about the holidays that will be missed, the birthdays, going to the gym with my brother, seeing friends on the weekends, and having the ability to call anyone at any time which is convenient for the both of us. I'm not worried about the culture shock, food, language barriers, transitioning, transportation, visa, all of that will work out. It's just the people that I am having trouble imagining not seeing for at least a year if not more and the times I will miss with them.
The good thing is I will have friends just one country away, one bus ride away from where I will live. That and skype is cheap for phone calls. Perhaps it won't be as bad as I am thinking it can be at the moment. Like I've said before, I didn't think this would be too much of a problem for me, but being the youngest and realizing that my whole family is all grown up now, it's hard sometimes to accept it. Two siblings, all nieces and one nephew are out of state already, one sister and nephew is about 1.5 hours drive away, leaving only a brother, sister, and my parents left in SD as well as grandparents. It's crazy to imagine living back in my mother's home with all six of us siblings. Then switching homes every week for about 12-14 years with my brother, living out of a bag. All the good times spent with the Majestic crew in high school and community college. Finally going away to college and putting clothes in the drawer with at least the idea of some sort of permanence. Returning to San Diego to live with my Dad and here I am, once again, getting ready to go somewhere else. Life goes on I guess. Change is the only constant in life as my friend Wingo likes to say. I have to admit in that, Wingo, you're most definitely correct.
Despite all the above stated feelings, I think things are going to turn out pretty good. I am going to buy a new laptop before I leave and will create a skype account. While I know it won't be an every Sunday occasion where I call every family member, I do intend to call family and friends as much as I can. I hope at least a few people will come visit me, I know thus far my Dad and Step-mother will and likely one of my sisters too. That's one trip I cannot wait to have. For them to see the things that interest me and grabbed my attention 4 years ago and changed the direction of my life, I cannot wait to share that with them.
I've been listening to Florence & The Machine's song, Dog Days Are Over. Though the song is more about a love interest, part of the song says "Leave all your love and longing behind, You can't carry it with you if you want to survive." While I very much enjoy this song, I know I will be longing for family, but I definitely won't leave it behind. It will be right there with me, and I am ready for it.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Pedagogy
The importance of quality pedagogy hits me like a slap in the face. On the board the same word is written two different ways, one with a tonal mark above an 'a' and the other with a tonal mark written between an 'a' and 'i.' I raise my hand and ask for clarification for the location of the tonal mark. She responds with sometimes it's written over the 'a' and sometimes it's written over the 'i.' It's based on aesthetics, there does not appear to be a systematic method for deciding where the mark goes. In Khmer, I know when the vowel and consonant clusters change their shape, there's a system to it. Meanwhile, in Vietnamese, I assume what the teacher says is true. Frustration and confusion begins, then another thing happens. The professor writes the same word three times and on two of the three, the tonal mark looks like a dash, '-.' However, the importance of making a slanting down and a slanting up tone mark is imperative for understanding. Especially for beginning students. The professor constantly writes a tonal mark like a dash '-' when it is supposed to be a slanting down mark. This class reminds me of how lucky I am to have learned under great professors who explain rules and exceptions any time they occur and who make their writing very clear.
Business English. The solo lesson begins and the writing is messy on the board, about half of the writing is legible. The practicing teacher begins, speaking to the board for about a minute or two, then finally turns to the students. Though keep in mind, the teacher was not writing anything on the board, just looking at it and speaking about sub-prime mortgages. Then the teacher moves to a survey to hand out, the teacher can't find his handout. During his search, I look at the professor to see if she is going to cut him off, give him a warning, tell him to move on, I look at other students to see if they have the same wandering thoughts. Only one other student expresses a mutual concern. After five full minutes of searching in complete silence, the survey is found and distributed. By now it has been about 10 minutes of the 15 minute lesson it's supposed to be and we've only gone through the Engage section, or the warm up. Now, the lecture begins, numerous references to the 'media' ascend as though the media is the number one reliable source of information. I flashback to Berkeley, listening to lecturers' discourses infused with graduate school jargon, saying a lot, but really saying little. My brain clicks off, tunes out, waiting for the teacher to step in and stop this horrendous lecture based off of the media. It continues and continues. The jackhammer proceeds to pound rock by rock, the sound of the crushing metal upon the hard soil grows louder and more obnoxious. Until it's been 45 minutes of being talked at, the professor finally says, "I'm sorry but we really need to move on due to time constraints. I know you could go on much longer, and it was very interesting." It's time for feedback from us fellow students. The lady next to me says he could base an entire semester about the subject. She laughs slightly, I laugh roaringly and I get a concerned look from her. (She's serious?!) My mind is blown away, the other students truly enjoyed his lecture, they wanted him to continue. Baffled, perplexed, and aghast at how these other 11 students, including the professor genuinely thought it was a quality lesson for ESL students. Maybe I was missing the point, they thought they were the audience, despite this being laid out for us to act as ESL students. The practicing teacher asked maybe 2-3 questions, misspelled words, asked if he spelled something correct, wrote illegibly and they wanted more.
A teacher must be able to convey meaning with extreme clarity and should hopefully be able to write with close attention to detail. A teacher should also encourage participation by the students as much as they can, especially with it being a language course. These past few days have greatly influenced how I will continue to create my lessons, ones filled with participation, clear writing, and helpful explanations. I completed my first lesson this weekend for Kindergartners, I taught the words: run, jump, walk, and stop. The students were taught pronunciation for each word by each consonant and vowel, physically did the actions while saying the word. Were put into two groups to test their ability to carry out the action and say the word. A dog doll was used to make the actions and have the students call out the words. The words were written on the board, clear, large, and color coded. There were laughs, smiles, and a lot of praise. I get my evaluation next weekend, we'll see how good or bad I did. The one thing I know that went wrong is I was short a minute or two on the 15 minutes. This is what I've learned in my short time as a TEFL student and as an overall student, be clear with writing and meaning, maximize participation by students, and students feed off of high energy.
Business English. The solo lesson begins and the writing is messy on the board, about half of the writing is legible. The practicing teacher begins, speaking to the board for about a minute or two, then finally turns to the students. Though keep in mind, the teacher was not writing anything on the board, just looking at it and speaking about sub-prime mortgages. Then the teacher moves to a survey to hand out, the teacher can't find his handout. During his search, I look at the professor to see if she is going to cut him off, give him a warning, tell him to move on, I look at other students to see if they have the same wandering thoughts. Only one other student expresses a mutual concern. After five full minutes of searching in complete silence, the survey is found and distributed. By now it has been about 10 minutes of the 15 minute lesson it's supposed to be and we've only gone through the Engage section, or the warm up. Now, the lecture begins, numerous references to the 'media' ascend as though the media is the number one reliable source of information. I flashback to Berkeley, listening to lecturers' discourses infused with graduate school jargon, saying a lot, but really saying little. My brain clicks off, tunes out, waiting for the teacher to step in and stop this horrendous lecture based off of the media. It continues and continues. The jackhammer proceeds to pound rock by rock, the sound of the crushing metal upon the hard soil grows louder and more obnoxious. Until it's been 45 minutes of being talked at, the professor finally says, "I'm sorry but we really need to move on due to time constraints. I know you could go on much longer, and it was very interesting." It's time for feedback from us fellow students. The lady next to me says he could base an entire semester about the subject. She laughs slightly, I laugh roaringly and I get a concerned look from her. (She's serious?!) My mind is blown away, the other students truly enjoyed his lecture, they wanted him to continue. Baffled, perplexed, and aghast at how these other 11 students, including the professor genuinely thought it was a quality lesson for ESL students. Maybe I was missing the point, they thought they were the audience, despite this being laid out for us to act as ESL students. The practicing teacher asked maybe 2-3 questions, misspelled words, asked if he spelled something correct, wrote illegibly and they wanted more.
A teacher must be able to convey meaning with extreme clarity and should hopefully be able to write with close attention to detail. A teacher should also encourage participation by the students as much as they can, especially with it being a language course. These past few days have greatly influenced how I will continue to create my lessons, ones filled with participation, clear writing, and helpful explanations. I completed my first lesson this weekend for Kindergartners, I taught the words: run, jump, walk, and stop. The students were taught pronunciation for each word by each consonant and vowel, physically did the actions while saying the word. Were put into two groups to test their ability to carry out the action and say the word. A dog doll was used to make the actions and have the students call out the words. The words were written on the board, clear, large, and color coded. There were laughs, smiles, and a lot of praise. I get my evaluation next weekend, we'll see how good or bad I did. The one thing I know that went wrong is I was short a minute or two on the 15 minutes. This is what I've learned in my short time as a TEFL student and as an overall student, be clear with writing and meaning, maximize participation by students, and students feed off of high energy.
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